Shadchan is a Jewish matchmaker who is respected for their services, despite some finding them nosy. They charge a fee and consider compatibility based on physical preferences, occupation, salary, location, family life, and ethics. Arranged marriages are still common in Orthodox Judaism, and the Shadchan acts as an intermediary. Their advice is worth considering, as they help make informed decisions about marriage.
A Shadchan is a Jewish broker, in an official or unofficial capacity. While some consider a Shadchan to be a nosy person or a busybody, others believe that matchmakers are an essential part of Jewish weddings and deserve respect and adherence to their suggestions. Official matchmakers will charge a fee for their services, but any friend or relative who is constantly looking to create singles may be referred to by this title.
The existence of matchmakers has been a part of Jewish culture since ancient times. In the Talmud, the main religious tome of the Jewish faith, some even claim that making right marriages is one of God’s main goals. Throughout history, the Shadchans have held positions of great respect for their opinions and services, despite the fact that many find them overly personal and occasionally annoying.
Marriages arranged by wedding planners are still common among Orthodox sects of Judaism, although the participants usually have a say in the process. The Shadchan acts as an intermediary for the two families, making sure they understand what they are both looking for and watching for any signs of potential danger or inadequacy. Shadchans can also be responsible for breaking up a potential marriage, preventing the parties or families from getting personally involved in an unfortunate breakup.
Shadchans are often paid for their work and urban legends suggest that if they are not paid promptly, the marriage will be an unhappy one. Perhaps as a sign of this, even some unofficial matchmakers will receive a token payment from the happy couple or their family, in order to prevent any fateful unhappiness due to ingratitude. Money that a matchmaker asks for and receives is not considered mercenary, as they are believed to perform a useful service to the community in bringing two members together.
There are many criteria for matching a couple correctly. Obviously, the interested parties and their families want to make the best match possible, so many matches can be suggested based on the qualification criteria of the family and the Shadchan. Physical preferences, occupation, salary, geographic location, family life, and ethics are all factors considered in the matchmaking process.
Arranged marriages are a risky business in modern society. While some lament the lack of individuality and romance in the situation, others note that the matchmaking process ensures compatibility on a variety of levels, something that people in love can ignore while busy being Tweeted to each other. Due to the greater degree of equality between men and women in modern life, arranged marriages may be more plausible and sensible than ever, as both parties can back out at will. Despite the inner grievance many feel when they hear the words “Are you not married? I know the perfect guy,” a Shadchan’s work can be extremely helpful in making an informed decision about marriage, and their advice may be worth heeding.
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