The term “social butterfly” may have originated as a derogatory term for women who dated many men. It now describes outgoing individuals who are comfortable in social situations and move from group to group at parties. True social butterflies have a light touch and innate social grace, while obnoxiously gregarious individuals do not fit the description.
If you’ve ever seen a butterfly in action, you’ll notice that they are busily toiling in a garden, flitting from flower to flower to collect some nectar before moving on. The butterfly action is beautiful and purposeful, even if such food is necessary for survival. Yet the passage of light from the standing flowers and the insect’s often colored wings inspired the term social butterfly.
It is difficult to establish the origin of this term, since etymologists are still arguing about the origin of the word butterfly. It appears that the term, social butterfly, may have initially been used derogatorily to describe young women who dated many different men. They could be pitted against their opposites, upholsterers, who sat still, waiting to be invited to dates, or especially to balls, waiting to be asked to dance.
Gradually, the term became descriptive and applied primarily to women, who are outgoing, comfortable in social situations, can talk to anyone, and who seem to have a certain grace and ease at parties. Social butterflies in a party setting might move from group to group, briefly sipping the nectar of each engagement and sharing a few pleasant words with partygoers. Their social prowess makes it easy for them to be quite comfortable in large group settings.
Just as the royal butterfly enhances flower life, the social butterfly tends to be an asset at parties. She or he can sometimes initiate conversations, praise the looks of other guests, and keep the party atmosphere more interesting. It would be more difficult to throw a party without extroverted guests, since most introverted guests need a little encouragement to move around a room, engage in conversation, and keep a party lively. A combination of extroverts and introverts tends to balance social engagements more appropriately.
Some people seem to be innately outgoing, and there are now various personality tests that can tell you whether or not you tend to be more outgoing. In general, you may already know whether you fit the standards of a social butterfly if you’ve had the opportunity to take part in social engagements. Do you like walking around the room talking to various guests or do you prefer deep conversation with a kindred spirit? If the answer is yes to the first one, you are probably the outgoing social butterfly type.
The term can sometimes be misapplied to people who are obnoxiously gregarious, bossy, loud, and make rude comments. They can loudly trample their views from one guest to another; they do not flutter and have a light touch and innate social grace. These are not true social butterflies because they detract from a social scene rather than enhance it.
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