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What’s a surrogate mom?

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Surrogacy involves a woman carrying a fetus for someone else, with various forms available. Traditional surrogacy involves artificial insemination, while gestational surrogacy involves the couple donating both eggs and sperm. Legal and ethical issues exist, including payment to surrogates and disputes over custody. Surrogates are expected to follow certain behaviors during pregnancy, and the relationship between the surrogate and the couple can vary. Meetings to discuss expectations are recommended.

A surrogate mother is a woman who carries a fetus for someone else, usually a couple struggling with fertility issues. After the baby is born, the surrogate hands it over to the people who hired her. There are various forms of surrogacy, some of which have been used historically, while others are more modern.
One form of surrogacy, traditional surrogacy, involves the use of artificial insemination to impregnate the surrogate mother. This technique is often used when a woman is physically unable to have children, but she still wants to have children with her partner. In this case, the partner donates the sperm, or the sperm is secured by a third party if he is also infertile, and the surrogate contributes half of the required genetic material. This type of surrogacy has been around for centuries, although it wasn’t widely discussed until the 20th century, as some women felt ashamed that they couldn’t have children.

Modern surrogacy arrangements usually involve gestational surrogacy. In gestational surrogacy, the couple commissioning the surrogate mother donates both eggs and sperm. The egg is fertilized in a test tube and then implanted into the surrogate. In this case, she acts almost like an incubator, carrying the child to term for a woman who is unable to.

There are some legal and ethical issues related to surrogacy, as it is a sensitive issue. Up until the 1960s, surrogacy was usually done by a friend or relative, as a favor to someone in need. In the 1960s, European couples began contracting with third parties, establishing surrogacy arrangements and sometimes compensating the surrogate mother for her troubles. In 1976, the first formal surrogacy arrangement was established in the United States, and within a few decades, surrogacy became socially acceptable.

In some areas, payments to a surrogate mother are prohibited. This decision was made when sociologists began to observe that most surrogates were working class women and the couples applying for surrogacy were upper class. Some concern was raised that women were essentially selling their bodies, and this thought made some people uneasy. However, the couple applying for surrogacy must still bear the surrogate’s medical bills, and gifts are generally considered acceptable even if the payment is not.

Several legal cases have challenged the surrogacy system, mainly when surrogate mothers refuse to hand over babies after birth. In most cases, the surrogate loses the legal battle, even if she is the birth mother of the child. Most contracts spell out the terms of the deal, in the hope of avoiding such a situation.

A surrogate contract usually also explains the expectations for the surrogate’s behavior during the pregnancy. For example, surrogates are expected to attend prenatal appointments and are usually asked to refrain from smoking, drinking, and drug use. Additionally, a surrogate mother should eat well, take prenatal vitamins, and follow other precautions during her pregnancy to ensure that the baby is healthy when she is born.
The relationship between a surrogate mother and the couple who commission her can vary greatly. Some couples become friendly with their surrogates and may even on rare occasions invite the surrogate to be a part of the baby’s life as she grows up. In other cases, couples prefer to keep more distance with their surrogates. For couples considering surrogacy and women considering entering into a surrogacy arrangement, meetings to discuss everyone’s expectations before proceeding are a great idea.

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