Tantrums are extreme emotional responses to frustration or overwhelming situations, commonly seen in young children. Older children and adults can also have them. Tantrums can be caused by a lack of language or emotion experience, attempting to master new skills, or reaching a developmental milestone. During a tantrum, a child may yell, hit, throw objects, and generally fail to respond to reason. Parents should try to ignore the tantrum whenever possible and seek help if it persists. Responding angrily or giving in to the child’s wishes reinforces bad behavior.
A tantrum, sometimes called a hysterical attack or connition attack, is an extreme raw and unplanned emotional response to frustration, emotionally overwhelming situations, anger, sadness, unexpected events, or opposition from another person. Such an attack is most commonly associated with young children, usually starting when children are about two years old. Children may continue to have daily tantrums for a while, but usually, if they encounter the proper methods of controlling them, they will learn to master them within a few years.
That doesn’t mean older children can’t throw tantrums, and adults can occasionally have one, too. More commonly, though, about 80 percent of children between the ages of two and four are likely to have frequent tantrums. This is often the result of the child not having enough language or emotion experience to express themselves more clearly. Some pediatricians and child development experts also suggest that children are vulnerable to tantrums when attempting to master new skills or reach a developmental milestone.
Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, the renowned physician, has suggested that when children are close to reaching a developmental milestone, such as being fluent or becoming more independent of their parents, they tend to show regression in other developmental areas. His explanation of hysterical attacks focuses on how the child’s behavior can negatively regress as the child learns to assert himself and be more independent of the parents. Even being slightly opposed by a parent can trigger tantrums because the child’s world is self-centered and, from this perspective, they should get what they want at all times.
During a tantrum, a child may yell, hit, throw himself on the floor, be aggressive towards parents or siblings, throw objects, kick objects, and generally fail to respond to reason. Although the average adjustment lasts a couple of minutes, some children show remarkable persistence in this area and can tantrum for a long time, much longer than this average. This is especially true if the child is older.
Most parenting experts suggest that whenever possible, parents can spread a tantrum by ignoring it. Occasionally, the tantrum is so severe that a child may need to be held gently to prevent self-harm. When calming efforts aren’t helping the child have fewer tantrums, parents may want to talk to the child’s pediatrician about their frequency and severity. This is especially true when an older child suddenly starts having tantrums, or when a child after the age of four shows no signs of slowing down his tantrums.
While it can be hard not to feel angry or frustrated by a tantrum in a child, parents generally do a child a disservice by responding angrily. Similarly, if a parent gives in to the child’s wishes immediately, she will reinforce that the bad behavior leads to the child getting what he wants.
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