Arranged marriages involve family members, especially parents, in finding and approving potential spouses. Reasons include religious or cultural issues, wealth preservation, and political alliances. Matchmaking involves sharing information and courtship before engagement. Consent is required, and forced marriages are not the same as arranged marriages. Success rates vary, with lower divorce rates in countries with arranged marriages, but some argue that this may be due to cultural attitudes towards divorce. Opponents argue that arranged marriages can lead to exploitation and abuse.
Arranged marriages are marriages where family members play a significant role in bringing a couple together. Relatives, especially parents, often take the lead in finding, evaluating, and approving potential spouses for their children. In some cases, the couple may marry while still relatively estranged in the expectation that they will develop a loving relationship over time. These marriages contrast with so-called “love marriages,” where a couple is drawn to each other’s attraction and makes the decision to marry themselves. While often associated with the cultures of the Middle East, Africa and India, these arrangements are not unknown in Western countries, particularly among immigrant populations.
Reasons for arranged marriages
Religious or cultural issues, preservation of wealth, or forming political alliances are common reasons for arranged marriages. Those who practice family-led courtship and marriage can also argue that such relationships tend to be happier and more stable than those resulting from modern Western dating practices.
Religious and cultural issues
Many religions and cultures have taboos against the interaction of unmarried people of different genders. In Islam and some branches of Orthodox Judaism, for example, social segregation of the sexes is the norm, making it difficult for individuals to meet potential mates on their own. Many cultures also view marriage as an alliance between families, rather than just between two individuals. Families want to make sure that new spouses become suitable family members, and the best way to ensure compatibility is to be involved in the mate selection process.
Dynastic and Financial
Historically, families have often negotiated marriages to strengthen political alliances or to consolidate wealth. Royalty and nobility typically arranged marriages between their children and the children of other royal and noble houses for political reasons, such as securing peace or consolidating agreements between nations. A family with significant wealth and possessions might also encourage their children to marry others with similar or greater amounts of money to maintain the same level of wealth. Those families of high social class but with little money, on the other hand, could arrange a marriage with a wealthy person of lower social class; such a marriage could stabilize the finances of the noble family by elevating the social status of the lower-ranking family.
Other reasons
Proponents of arranged marriage often argue that parents usually have a good understanding of what will give their children long-term happiness, making them ideal candidates for the child’s mate choice. Sociological studies have shown that individuals from similar backgrounds are more likely to have a happy marriage. When parents plan a marriage for their children, they are likely to focus on areas of mutual compatibility other than sexual attraction, which can fade over time. Without other factors holding relationships together, such as mutual respect, similar values, and family support, couples are at a greater risk of divorce.
The matchmaking process
The process for bringing two people together as potential spouses varies based on cultural and personal preferences. In many communities, a professional matchmaker introduces men and women to each other in hopes of making a match. Friends or family members can also take responsibility for making introductions. Internet-based matchmaking services also became available in the late 20th century, allowing parents of children of marriageable age to consider candidates from all over the world.
A significant part of the matchmaking process is sharing information about potential spouses. Families and marriage candidates can receive photographs and detailed reports about a person’s family, education and finances. In some cultures, the family may also consult a fortune teller or astrologer to determine whether the marriage will be successful. If both families are comfortable with the information provided, they may choose to investigate the possibility of arranging a match.
Courtship
While some families may plan a wedding where spouses do not meet until their wedding day, many communities discourage this practice. Instead, a man and woman are encouraged to get to know each other before an engagement or wedding. Some families may allow the couple to meet several times in the presence of a chaperone or even to spend time alone in a public place.
Engagement
As is true with other aspects of an arranged marriage, family, cultural, and religious mores dictate the betrothal process. In some cases, the bride’s family has to approach the groom’s family, while in other cases, the groom’s family takes the lead. The matchmaker can be instructed to bring a proposition from either side. Betrothal may require families to draw up a marriage contract which may include some type of financial settlement, such as a dowry.
Consent
An arranged marriage is not the same as a forced marriage. Typically, parents give their children veto power over who they will (or will not) marry. Furthermore, both civil and religious law often prohibit the use of coercion to marry someone against her will. For example, Islam explicitly forbids marriages without consent and requires a woman to agree to marriage three times in front of witnesses. Unfortunately, forced marriages do occur in some places and laws against the practice are not always enforced.
Arguments against arranged marriages
Despite strong support for arranged marriages in some cultures and communities, many people oppose it. Opponents note that some families are callous or unaware of their children’s needs and wants, and thus may arrange unions that lead to unhappiness on one or both sides. Furthermore, some families may be primarily interested in social status or financial gain in pairing off their children; this can lead to marriages between otherwise incompatible people.
Exploitation and abuse sometimes occur in the guise of an arranged marriage. These problems include forced marriages, those involving underage children and immigration fraud. Some countries, such as the UK, have enacted strict immigration laws requiring couples to meet in person at least once before the government issues a marriage visa to the non-citizen partner.
Success rates
Sociologists note that divorce rates in countries where arranged marriages are common are often significantly lower than in countries where people choose their own spouse. While some experts credit the parental-led courtship process with producing better relationships, not all agree with this analysis. Some critics point out that cultures that practice arranged marriage typically also frown upon divorce. This can mean that while divorce is less common, marriages themselves may not be happy or healthy relationships.
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