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“Biting your lip” means refraining from speaking or showing emotions in a social situation. It originated from the literal act of biting one’s lip to keep quiet. It can be used to prevent harm or preserve social harmony, and is often associated with the Japanese concepts of “honne” and “tatemae.”
“Biting your lip” is to refrain from speaking. It can also be applied to limit any emotional reactions in a social situation. The term is applied as a notion, “I had to bite my lip today,” or as a command, “Bite your lip!” It is used when information is known that could disturb a social situation, but should not be disclosed.
It is a figurative phrase or idiom that has a literal origin. A person would bite his lip to keep his mouth shut. It then developed into its non-literal form to represent restraint and stoicism. The concept of “biting your tongue” is similar, but its modern usage is to prevent a person from saying something mean.
The phrase “biting your lip” conveys an urgent need in one or more people to reveal something. This can be a truth, as opposed to a told lie, or a different opinion. Rather than being allowed into free speech, the individual hears or is told to shut up. This suggests that their information will cause harm to one or more individuals present or cause other problems.
Any information or feeling that needs to be hidden varies from case to case. For example, if someone is at a wedding and feels the need to keep quiet or is told to “bite their lip,” there can be a variety of reasons. First, there is the hidden information or feelings. The person might love one of those getting married or might know that one of them has lied about something or is having an affair. Secondly, the person is aware or made aware of the consequences of her action, which could ruin the whole marriage and possibly cause the couple to separate.
In the example given, the person bit his lip to preserve social harmony. She also protected someone else’s feelings. It can rationally be argued that it also protected a wrongful action if the bridegroom or bride cheated on the other. If so, it puts “bite your lip” into the realm of time and space, or turns it into an ethical judgment.
There are also instances where people are told to “bite their lip” for their personal safety and for the safety of others. Such situations arise when there are consequences for disclosing such information or opinions. There are many examples in world history when someone didn’t bite their tongue and gave an honest opinion. Many governments and regimes have punished these people.
In Japan, “bite your lip” falls under the twin ideas of “honne” and “tatemae.” Honne means “true feelings” and is kept internal most of the time. ‘Tatemae’ means public feelings and represents what is appropriate to feel in a social situation. The two sentiments are often at loggerheads with each other, but the preservation of social harmony is central to their thinking.
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