Body language, including stance, gestures, and facial expressions, makes up 70% of communication. It varies by culture, so it’s important to understand regional differences. Eye contact, hand gestures, and posture can convey confidence or disinterest. Nonverbal communication can be learned and improved.
Body language is part of non-verbal language. It includes things like stance, gestures, facial expressions, and even little things that are barely noticeable like a quick shrug or a nod of the head. We often communicate both physically and verbally and it is estimated that 70% of what we communicate may be non-verbal. Nonverbal language is an even broader category, which includes things like tone of voice.
There are many ways to learn to interpret body language, but it must be understood that these are often specific to a culture. For example in the United States we greet with the palm facing the person we are greeting and the fingers can open and close. In other cultures, greeting may occur with the palm of the hand facing the sky and the fingers opening and closing. For people in the United States, this might seem like a gesture asking someone to come closer rather than a wave.
However, since most of us live in an area where body language can be similar between people, it’s important to know that you can communicate a lot from how you wave, what you do with your arms when you’re sitting or standing, and you speak with someone else, and also what your posture might be saying. A person in much of the United States who sits with their hands crossed on their chest and legs crossed, might send an involuntary message that they’re really not available to talk. Some people are excellent at reading this type of message and we need to be careful what we may convey, especially when we are being judged, particularly in things like dating or job interviews.
Eye contact is another key element of nonverbal contact in much of the Western world. Making eye contact with someone enough but not too much can indicate that you are direct and forthright. Avoiding eye contact can indicate that you are shy or deceitful or, alternatively, it can convey annoyance or disgust for someone.
The way we handle can tell people the level of confidence we have, or if we’re a little too emphatic in our opinions. Huge gestures can mean we have something to prove. Moderate gestures may simply suggest that we are engaged and confident in what we have to say.
Even the way you turn your head, shrug your shoulders, yawn, look at your watch can all be forms of non-verbal communication that send clear signals to other people. If possible, never look at your watch or the clock over your head when in a meeting with your boss. It can send the message that you are bored, which is not a positive message to send.
It would be impossible to describe all the ways we use nonverbal language, but it’s important to remember that nonverbal language is not necessarily universal. If you’re observing body movements that seem out of place, consider cultural or regional differences that may explain it. You may also notice that family members have similar gestures that aren’t as common elsewhere. It can be helpful to know what you’re saying, though, and there are many books and Internet sites that can help you interpret some of the ways you send nonverbal messages to most people in your culture.
If you really think your body language is off or needs improvement, picking up a book on nonverbal communication can help. You can also register and watch the way you move, handle, sit and stand to see if you’re sending messages that you don’t really mean. Confident body language common to a culture can be learned and can make you appear more confident or direct.
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