What’s causing the pain?

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Grief is not only associated with death but also with any type of loss, tangible or intangible. It is important to recognize and acknowledge the pain of loss, as everyone grieves differently. Children also experience grief and should be allowed to express their feelings. Perception plays a role in how one experiences grief, and it is crucial to recognize and not dismiss the pain.

Many assume that grief is only associated with the loss of a loved one. Psychology shows us that very often this is not the case, but those suffering grief from things other than someone’s death are often told to “hurry it up”. Grief is, simply put, a response to loss. The loss can be of something tangible or intangible. It helps to recognize that disappointments, abuse, acknowledging one’s limitations, losing a job or many other things can elicit a pain response. People who suffer loss need time to grieve, and that time depends on the importance of the loss.

Everyone suffers in different ways. Some people deal with loss stoically and essentially feel that work is the best way to deal with it. Others need to cry or keep away from other people for a while. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has done great work on stages of grief, which can help people understand the grief process.

Defining the loss that will cause pain is very difficult. It really depends on the perception of the individual. For some people, losing their job is simply a life lesson. These people move on to their next job or job search without feeling it as an emotional blow. For others, the loss of a job might feel overwhelming, leading them to question all the decisions they’ve made about their career choice or to experience great self-directed negativity.

Some people feel pain when they discover that a future path they wanted to take is now closed to them. For example, a woman who has been trying to get pregnant and finds there is no way for her to do so may mourn the future she expected to have, a future that included bearing and having her own children. Even if the loss is directed to the future, it can still cause pain in the present. Being excluded from the things desired can cause tremendous pain, again commensurate with a person’s perception.

Even children grieve, for small things, like a friend who moves away or has to change schools. A child may be expected to grieve over the death of a pet, but parents may not recognize the grief children feel during transitional times. Most therapists recommend that parents not dismiss their children’s early grieving experiences, as this can shape how children are able to acknowledge grief, cry, and at an appropriate time move on from the first sad feelings that they feel. they grip.

There is no need to encourage a child to suffer more, because again, children will respond in individual ways, as adults do. However, leaving open the opportunity for children to discuss their feelings, allowing them to express their feelings by giving them emotional language, and practicing extra patience with a grieving child can be one of the best things you can do for a child. such.

In considering grief, it is important to remember that it is a response to many different types of losses, ie individual ones, and that it is influenced by the person’s perception of the loss. A couple who lose the ability to have children can suffer in very different ways. Of paramount importance is the recognition of pain instead of its dismissal. People cannot recover from pain they fail to recognize.




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