Codependency is a psychological problem where a person sacrifices their health or well-being to meet another person’s needs. It is often related to low self-esteem and is found in abusive relationships. Healthy relationships have a fair balance of power, while codependent behavior is often related to an abusive or codependent upbringing. The term is often unfairly associated with women, who may have historically developed codependent behavior as a means of surviving unavoidable abuse.
A buzzword of modern psychology, codependent behavior may be one of the most easily misunderstood terms in existence. According to some mental health experts, codependency is a psychological problem in which a person sacrifices their health or well-being to meet another person’s needs. Examples of codependent behavior are often found in abusive relationships, where the codependent person experiences inappropriate treatment regardless of the danger or harm involved.
Nearly all healthy relationships involve a measure of self-sacrifice or what is referred to as “custody” behavior. Seeing a movie that a person doesn’t want to see to please their partner, or helping a work or school mate finish a project instead of going on a fun outing are examples of what can be completely normal and healthy caring actions. If the partner or friend never returns the favor, or is abusive and mean despite nurturing actions, this can quickly become a pattern of codependent behavior.
The idea of codependency stems from the concept that healthy relationships, be they romantic, platonic, or business-related, have a fair balance of power. While each person in the relationship may not have exactly the same responsibilities or requirements, the effort put in by both parties is overall equal. When a person consistently accepts less than she offers, it is often considered a sign of codependent behavior.
Codependent behavior is often related to low self-esteem. People who feel they deserve to be abused or treated poorly often find relationships that fill that unhealthy need. Some codependent people live under an overwhelming veil of hope, believing that the other person will change and become kind and responsible if the codependent person loves them enough. Unsurprisingly, people with codependency issues are often the product of an abusive home or one where a codependent structure existed. Additionally, codependent people are considered highly likely to be with and consent to substance abusing partners.
Often the term is related almost exclusively to women in relationships. Many mental health experts believe this may be a somewhat unfair accusation, as women are more psychologically inclined to take care of a relationship, which is often perfectly healthy. In many parts of the world, however, women have long been subject to social norms and laws that standardize inequality in relationships; until the late 20th century in the United States, some regions did not allow a woman to accuse her husband of rape. In some other countries, women are not permitted to attend school and may have no legal recourse against physical or verbal abuse by a husband or male family member. With such longstanding codifications of inequality, it is far from outrageous to suggest that woman may have historically developed codependent behavior as a means of surviving unavoidable abuse.
Protect your devices with Threat Protection by NordVPN
