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Glorified rice is a Midwest comfort food with no set recipe, but typically includes rice, cream, and canned fruit. Traditional recipes call for pineapple and maraschino cherries, but some use real fruit. Some cooks use cream to cook the rice, while others use skim milk and almond milk for a healthier option.
Anyone who grew up in the Midwest going to church or community dining soulless no doubt has a sweet memory of glorified rice. There’s hardly any more comforting comfort food, with its creamy whipped cream or fluffy marshmallow texture and fruity layers of flavor that transform white rice into a dessert worth remembering. As with most home recipes, there really isn’t one way to make glorified rice. The only common ingredients are rice, cream, and canned fruit.
Culinary historians point to enterprising Midwestern Scandinavians for creating such a delicious bunch of fluff. More traditional recipes call for canned chopped pineapple and the red kisses of maraschino cherries from a jar. Even cooks who work according to grandmothers’ recipes, however, will trade words about whether or not the cream should be heavy or whipped or cooked with sugar.
Most glorified rice recipes insist on fruit which is less fruit and more sugary delicacies. Real bananas are acceptable to purists, and some will even allow a few slices of fresh mango or kiwi because those fruits are hard to find in a can. Perhaps a sprinkle of toasted coconut would be permissible, but woe betide any cook trying to pass off a glorified rice dessert that doesn’t contain chopped pineapple, tangerines or fruit cocktails to a group of traditionalists.
Cooks who live with the expression “fat and happy” argue that, in the best glorified rice, the rice itself should first be cooked in cream or at least a mixture of cream and milk. This method produces tongue-melting and heart-breaking rice that is deliciously delicious. These cooks are likely to throw in a handful of mini marshmallows just to make sure all bases are covered in terms of calories.
Home cooks who aim to please but also live a little longer have found all kinds of healthy substitutes for the fat, grease, and slightly more fat plus sugar found in the traditional rice dessert. They found that brown rice or spring or winter wheat forms a high-fiber, chewy white rice substitute. Instead of cooking rice with cream, skim milk will do, especially if a little unsweetened almond milk is added near the end. These cooks don’t give a damn about the way things were done. Instead of canned, sugary fruit they use the real thing, adding nuts for the crunch.
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