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The handkerchief code is a signaling system used by gay men, BDSM, and fetish communities to indicate sexual preferences. It involves wearing a handkerchief of a specific color or pattern in the right or left back pocket. The code originated in the 1970s and allowed gay men to communicate without attracting attention. It has also proved useful in crowded settings such as gay bars. Knowing the code can be helpful when traveling in areas with a large queer or fetish-oriented population.
The handkerchief code is a signaling system used by gay men and members of the BDSM and fetish communities to indicate sexual preferences. Signals are transmitted by wearing a handkerchief of a specific color or pattern in the right or left back pocket, conveying the preference to anyone nearby. While wearing a handkerchief, someone is said to be signaling, and the code is known as a signaling, bandana code, or handkerchief code.
Some people have suggested that the foundations of the handkerchief code may date back to the 1800s, when men in isolated regions of the American West wore red handkerchiefs to indicate they were willing to take the role of a woman in a dance. However, this is probably apocryphal and has never been verified. More solidly, the seeds for the code appear to have been sown in the 1970s, when gay men started wearing handkerchiefs under guidelines published in The Village Voice, a New York City newspaper.
There are a number of advantages to the handkerchief code which explain why it endures to this day. In the 1970s, when the gay community was less outspoken, the code allowed gay men to communicate with each other without attracting attention and made it easier for men to spot potential dates. In communities where it was prevalent, men knew that pursuing men who weren’t reporting could be risky and could seek out partners based on preference by checking their back pockets.
This code has also proved useful in crowded settings such as gay bars, where noise and crowds might make it difficult to connect with someone. As the handkerchief code spread through the gay community, it began to be picked up more broadly in the fetish and BDSM communities, and complex permutations of colors, patterns, and placements began to proliferate.
As a general rule, a player with a flag in the left pocket indicates that he is a top, while a player with a flag in the right pocket is a bottom. Bottoms prefer to participate as recipients in sexual and fetish encounters, while tops prefer just the opposite.
Knowing the handkerchief code can be helpful if you’re traveling in an area with a large queer or fetish-oriented population, as you may unknowingly send a signal if you leave a handkerchief in your back pocket. However, many people rely on other social cues besides the handkerchief code; if you happen to have, say, a gray handkerchief in your right pocket while innocently riding on the subway, you’re unlikely to be ravaged by greedy top bondage, though someone might approach you with a polite introduction.
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