Puppy love is a first experience of romantic relationships, often defined by immaturity and unrequited emotion. It can feel intense but usually has a fleeting quality. Parents should respect it as a real experience, and it has been around for centuries, as seen in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.
Pop singer Paul Anka and a very young Donny Osmond both had a hit with a song dedicated to the phenomenon known as puppy love. In the song, the singer denies allegations that his relationship with a young woman is little more than a teenage crush. He insists their feelings for each other run deeper than just infatuation. This is the essence of puppy love, a first foray into the world of romantic relationships, often defined by immaturity and unrequited emotion.
This youthful love may indeed feel like its deeper emotional cousin called “true love,” but it usually has a fleeting quality that prevents it from developing beyond a serious crush. It often begins with a one-sided infatuation, perhaps with a seemingly unapproachable classmate, attractive teacher, or other authority figure. For the lover, these feelings of attraction can be very intense indeed and create the kind of distractions and obsessive thought patterns of true love.
Some young people caught up in puppy love will eventually make an effort to pursue a relationship with the object of their affection, with varying degrees of success. Occasionally, two people with similar afflictions embark on a brief teenage romance with little or no expectations of a long-term commitment. Others may lack the social security to get close to the object of their affections, keeping their feelings at the level of an unrequited crush.
Puppy love rarely reaches a level of parental concern, although they may worry if their child’s budding romance begins to interfere with their other obligations and basic needs. A young teenager experiencing love for the first time may easily become distracted or less focused on other matters such as eating, sleeping and doing homework. The inevitable breakup can also create deep emotions that a young teenager may not be prepared to handle. Parents should respect that a youthful relationship can feel very real to participants and often mimics the same stages of a more mature romantic relationship.
The concept of youthful infatuation or immature teenage romance can be traced back centuries. In Shakespeare’s time, the idea was often interpreted as calf love, with the same basic premise of an immature romantic crush. In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo recalls his former “calf love”, a girl named Rosaline. Romeo’s nascent relationship with Juliet could be interpreted as a transition from a fleeting desire to a real, albeit tragic, romance for the ages.
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