An elephant in the living room is a metaphor for an obvious problem that is ignored. It can be caused by denial, guilt, or social discomfort. The best way to solve it is to confront the problem and give it attention.
An elephant in your living room would be hard to ignore for long, just like a 400-pound canary. Each of these animals has been used to refer to an obvious issue or problem that everyone recognizes but is rarely discussed. An elephant in the living room is used figuratively to represent the problem to be avoided. Everyone knows it’s there, but nobody wants to talk about it.
There are a number of reasons people may have a figurative elephant in their living room. As another catchy expression points out, “denial is not just a river in Egypt.” The elephant exhibit can create more problems than it would solve if not dealt with carefully. Family members of an active alcoholic, for example, may find it emotionally easier to minimize the harm caused by her behavior.
Another reason for the “elephant scenario” could be personal guilt or shame. Parents and siblings of a morbidly obese child may choose to ignore the warning signs of overeating to protect the child’s fragile sense of self-worth. The weight problem can easily become an elephant in the living room, since directly confronting the child about his eating habits could open up other unresolved family problems.
The unrecognized elephant can also appear in other social circumstances. A friend’s difficult spouse or short-tempered colleague could easily become the elephant in a social circle. Everyone may be aware of the quirks of this person’s personality, but no one wants to risk completely alienating their spouse or employee. Instead, there is a tacit agreement not to raise the subject in public. Directly insulting an elephant could have devastating effects on living room furniture, so to speak.
There are those who believe that the best way to get rid of the elephant in the living room is to find out what it wants and give it to it. Perhaps the elephant will choose to leave the house voluntarily once he gets the attention he craves. If people continue to leave a serious problem unresolved out of fear or the risk of social embarrassment, the figurative elephant will only grow.
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