“Coming out” refers to revealing one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, which can be done at any stage of life. It was historically frowned upon, but activists capitalized on civil rights movements in the 1910s-20s. Some hide their orientation for political or business reasons, and forced “exits” can have devastating consequences.
When someone “comes out,” it means they reveal their sexual orientation or gender identity. Classically, this term is used to describe gays and lesbians who openly express their sexuality, although it could also refer to heterosexuals, along with transsexuals, fetishists, and others. When someone’s orientation is disclosed without consent, it is known as an “exit.”
At various times in history, open expression of non-heterosexual sexual orientations has been accepted or disapproved of, depending on society and era. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, being an “out” homosexual was generally frowned upon in many parts of the world, except in certain social circles. In the 1919s and 1920s, however, gay and lesbian activists began to be more open about their sexuality, capitalizing on a growing civil rights movement that was promoting acceptance of women, people of color, and other marginalized populations.
Someone can choose to come out at any stage of life. Some people are confident in their sexual orientation and community at a young age and may be out as early as high school. Others can wait much later in life; many gay men growing up in the 1930s and 1940s, for example, were very reluctant to be open about their sexuality until they were much older, as were people growing up in conservative or homophobic environments.
It is not uncommon for people to hide their sexual orientation for political or business reasons. While discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is banned in many regions of the world, our gay men can still experience bias at work, especially in very traditional fields, and may find it easier to stay in the closet. Politicians in particular tend to hide their sexual orientation, with a few notable exceptions, such as Harvey Milk, the first completely out modern politician.
When someone comes out, it can be a subtle event or it can be celebrated with great fanfare. Typically, people reach out to family members and close friends first, often on an individual basis. In the event of a forced exit, however, the person can become extremely upset. People have lost their jobs and friendships after being forcibly ejected, and for this reason someone else’s exit is generally frowned upon in the gay community. While the victim of a forced exit may eventually adjust to their status and come to embrace it, or even be grateful that the truth has been exposed, the short-term consequences can be devastating.
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