The phrase “know your place” has various meanings, including showing respect to authority figures, not imposing on guests, and putting others before oneself. Its origins stem from strict rules of children being seen and not heard. However, it can also be used offensively towards women. Despite its negative connotations, knowing one’s place can have positive implications for finding one’s position in life.
The phrase “know your place” can be used in a variety of ways. In the past it could have been used as a means of indicating that children should show more respect for someone in authority, such as a grandparent or teacher. A boss might say something similar to an employee who has overstepped their bounds. The saying has also been used to explain to someone that they should try harder not to impose on a guest, or not to over-welcome her. While such uses tend to carry some reproach, this idiom is also sometimes used in harsher ways or in ways that can be offensive.
To understand the meaning of idioms, such as you know your place, it is helpful to look into their sources or early meanings. In the past, a rule of thumb was that children were to be seen and not heard or not to speak unless spoken to. Strict rules of this kind were implemented to ensure that children showed respect. Under such harsh rules, telling kids you know their place wouldn’t be unusual.
In modern societies, this phrase is sometimes used in a playful way towards the female gender, such as: “Know your place, woman.” An alternative is “know your place; is in the kitchen.” These types of clever comments hark back to the days when men actually treated women like they were property. While this perspective may still be prevalent and even accepted in some cultures, other cultures require that women be treated with greater respect.
If you are told you know your place, it may be a way of stating that you should defer to another person. For example, you might let an elderly person in before you. You could give your seat to someone who is elderly, pregnant or disabled. Basically, it means putting someone else before you or not thinking more highly of yourself than you think of other people.
The phrase “know your place” can also refer to one’s position in life. “Don’t get fancy ideas; remember your place.” While many uses of this phrase seem pretty negative, there are positives as well. Finding your place in the world, knowing your place, knowing who you are, all point to having a sense of where you fit in and what you contribute to the world around you. So while many uses of the term have negative connotations, it’s important to remember that knowing your place can be a good thing, too.
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