Transference is a process in therapy where patients place certain feelings, such as romantic love or parental love, on the therapist. The therapist can use this to help the client return to normal feelings. It is important to recognize this process and report any therapist who violates laws. Discussing these feelings can ultimately benefit romantic relationships.
Transference is a term first used by Sigmund Freud to describe a process in analysis or therapy. Freud noted that many of his patients seemed at some point to begin placing certain feelings, such as romantic love or parental love, on the therapist. When this process occurred, the therapist could use this position to help return the client to more normal feelings by responding in ways different from those of the person on whom the original feelings were based.
For example, a child who has been severely abused by a parent, or even simply neglected, may express the transference by seeing the therapist as a parent. However, because the child expects this role to be negatively charged and harmful, abuse recovery may be possible when the therapist is neither abusive nor neglectful. Instead the therapist uses this process to provide what the parent has not provided: a stable and accepting relationship in which the client is very important.
The therapist as a parent in this type of transference may have to endure strong anger on the part of the patient. This is partly helpful because it allows the “child” to express feelings that were too dangerous to express in an abusive or neglectful environment. Once these feelings of anger and hurt are expressed, the patient often feels relieved, as if he had actually confronted his parents.
Most commonly, the transference is romantic in nature. This need not be limited to relationships between clients and therapists of different sexes. It is also not an indication of homosexuality, although a client with a same-sex therapist can be terribly confused about romantic feelings toward one of the same sex.
In these cases, however, the therapist is simply representing the people in the client’s life who are supposed to love him. The role of the lover is projected onto the therapist because the therapist is usually the only person in a client’s life who is fully invested in the client and sees the client without judgment or agenda.
It can be quite difficult to discuss feelings of a romantic nature with a therapist. However, the therapist is usually aware of such feelings whether they are discussed or not. Discussion can prove healthy and helpful and ultimately move the client out of the transference state to a place where those feelings could be relocated to the spouse or partner.
There is inherent danger in this process for both client and therapist. Some therapists can transfer their feelings onto a client. When romantic feelings for a therapist are involved, the client would generally do anything a therapist asks, including any sexual behavior. This is strictly illegal, but there are abuses of laws that protect customers. Similar laws apply to others who may be subject to transference, such as clergy, teachers, and those in other medical fields.
It is important to recognize this process as a normal phase of therapy. However, if a therapist appears to be reciprocating romantic feelings, engaging in contact of a sexual nature, or attempting to initiate a sexual relationship, this therapist is no longer helpful and should be reported as violating the many laws that protect them. In this case, the therapist does considerable harm to the patients.
In most cases, however, the therapist, or counselor of any nature, is fully aware of the laws and honors them. The therapist can use the transference phase of therapy to help a patient establish a more appropriate view of meaningful relationships with romantic partners or family members. The client should not feel guilty about having these feelings, even though they are often confusing and difficult. Particularly when married, they may appear to be unfaithful or go against marriage vows.
It is helpful to remember that these feelings are ones you have or wish you had with a spouse or partner. Such feelings have undergone a temporary transfer which can ultimately benefit romantic relationships. Discussing these feelings can be very embarrassing, but it can also be a tool to achieve good mental health in relationships with the significant people in your life.
Protect your devices with Threat Protection by NordVPN
