What’s unconditional positive respect?

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Unconditional positive regard is a concept in humanist therapy where the therapist accepts and respects the client at all times, regardless of their behavior. This attitude can create a healing environment where dynamic change can occur. It is not just a model in therapy but can also be a role model for various relationships in society.

Unconditional positive regard is a concept that arose from early humanist therapists, especially person-centered or client-centered therapy. While this definition is short to a fault, one of the central ideas expressed in this early work is that every person who receives therapy deserves respect and ultimately has the tools to move from a less desired to a more desirable self. This is facilitated by the therapist’s presence and acceptance of the client at all times, and especially by the concept of unconditional positive regard, which affirms the client’s acceptability, although he has both good and bad qualities.

Understanding the difference between conditional and unconditional positive regard is helpful in understanding the meaning of the latter term. Conditional means hinged or dependent on. A person in this scenario may only gain consideration or attachment if she behaves or thinks a certain way, and failure to meet another person’s standards may make her isolated or lonely. A parent who only shows affection to a child when that child is doing well in school or in some other way is not expressing any kind of unconditional love. Instead, the parent has set the terms under which compliance will be accorded, and the child is left to grow up with the attitude that differentiation from the parent is wrong or bad.

Humanist psychologists such as Carl Rogers have argued that in the therapeutic setting, people may encounter unconditional positive regard for the first time. Most relationships set conditions, meaning most people are never fully accepted for both failures and triumphs. When the therapist adopts this attitude, it can be, according to Rogers and others, one of the most healing environments possible. A person who can be who she is does not have to strain against the constant conditions and judgments that meet her in the real world, and this is an environment in which dynamic change can occur.

Many people would look at this concept and see immediate flaws in it, for what if the person engages in behavior that is dangerous to self or others. With self-injurious behaviors, Rogers and others point out that it is possible to accept a person without approving of a behavior. If a person cuts, for example, and the therapist denies care and concern, that’s not very healthy. Conversely, a client who self-harms and evokes the care and concern of a therapist may be able to move to a place where no injuries ultimately occur. Especially in modern therapy, unconditional respect does not mean that a therapist cannot intervene to save a client from harm, but this action would arise out of deep concern and respect instead of any kind of punitive position.

This unconditional positive regard posture is not just a model in therapy. There are many who argue that it can be a role model for heads of state, drivers on the road, parents and their children, businesses and the people they serve. It has been argued that coming from the direction where all people have a basic right to love and respect could transform an entire world.




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