Victim psychology refers to blaming others to avoid personal responsibility or bad feelings, often caused by childhood trauma. It can inhibit personal relationships and decision-making. Therapy involves addressing underlying emotions and learning to take responsibility for actions.
Victim psychology is a term often heard in modern discussions of mental health. The term generally does not refer to a person who is the victim of some terrible act, such as a natural disaster, but rather to someone who avoids personal responsibility or bad feelings by blaming others. Many therapists and mental health professionals view victim psychology as a destructive mechanism that can inhibit personal relationships and a happy life.
The psychological journey of a person prone to victim thinking is complex and can begin in early childhood. Some people with abusive or highly critical parents develop strong feelings of shame and guilt early in life. If these issues are not addressed and managed, it is easy for them to be carried into adulthood and manifest as victim psychology; rather than dealing with the shame or guilt that reminds them of their past trauma, a person who thinks like a victim will blame others for the situation.
A person exhibiting victim psychology may be obsessed with fairness or morality. In general, he or she believes that the good things that happen are deserved, and the bad things that happen are because someone else is cruel, thoughtless, or unfair. It’s hard for someone with a victim mentality to take responsibility for their part in a problem, because it can leave them vulnerable to painful feelings of shame, guilt, or fear of rejection for doing something wrong. While the behavior of a victim-minded person may seem illogically selfish or narcissistic, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s actually an unfortunate and often unhealthy reaction to traumatic pain, not necessarily an inherent arrogance.
Like a deer in the limelight, victim psychology can paralyze a person and prevent them from making logical decisions. Being so wrapped up in how unfair a situation is, a person may not be able to think of ways or actions that would fix the problem. Instead of determining how to resolve a problem, arguments or issues can quickly dissolve into accusations of guilt, which are generally of no use to anyone.
Dysfunctional relationships can result in a lean towards victim psychology, even without early emotional trauma. A person in a relationship with an alcoholic partner has a legitimate claim against addiction, but may instead begin to use addiction as a means to justify their passivity or actions. For example, if the spouse of an addict started having affairs and blaming them on his partner’s refusal to stay clean, this is an example of victim psychology. Even in a situation where there is a legitimate claim, a person is responsible for their actions.
Therapy for a person trapped in victim psychology can take many forms. Generally, the person must address the underlying feelings of shame, guilt, and low self-esteem to acknowledge the problem. The work then becomes learning to accept responsibility for personal actions and feelings and to channel efforts into taking action rather than assigning blame.
Protect your devices with Threat Protection by NordVPN
