Brutally honest people may have been raised in a hypercritical environment or use it as a defense mechanism. Some lack emotional growth and social filters, while others use it to stave off future disappointment or for their own entertainment.
Few people can navigate life successfully without receiving a single piece of constructive criticism or brutal honesty. However, some people can become so driven to be brutally honest that they lose perspective when such advice isn’t strictly necessary or helpful. A little brutal honesty delivered by a trusted friend or mentor may be the push a person needs to make a positive change, but some people love to be brutally honest simply for the brutality.
One reason a person can become brutally honest is education. He or she may be the product of a hypercritical set of parents who have used harsh criticism as a motivational tool. There may not have been many examples of discretion or tact when it came to expressing the opinions of others. A parent or sibling may have looked at a work of art and pointed out all the flaws instead of praising the child for her creativity or originality. This negative and critical programming from childhood can survive into adulthood as brutally honest behavior.
Some people become brutally honest as a defense mechanism to deflect criticism of their own deficiencies or shortcomings. By putting a good offense through brutal honesty, they minimize the risk of others judging them just as harshly. These people often seek careers as professional critics or judges, firmly believing that the only way to help professionals improve is by being brutally honest. Harsh criticism is seen as a necessary evil, not a lack of tact.
For others, being brutally honest means a lack of emotional growth. Many people would like to be brutally honest more often, but a sense of decency prevents them from overstepping their bounds. Some people who pride themselves on their brutal honesty, however, have an underdeveloped social filter when it comes to tact and kindness. They are not always aware that their critical comments could be personally offensive or socially embarrassing. They may feel justified in saying publicly what others were thinking privately, but they simply lack the sense of fairness that should prevent such incidents.
Some well-known celebrities known for their brutal honesty, like American Idol’s acerbic British judge Simon Cowell, may be doing so to stave off future disappointment in an industry filled with even harsher critics. Some may be brutally honest because they believe the recipient won’t take criticism seriously unless provoked or shocked. There may even be some people who are brutally honest simply for the sake of watching other people take emotional blows from harsh criticism, whether or not the criticism has any real basis.
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