Choosing between traditional and personalized wedding vows can be difficult. In some countries, traditional vows are necessary for legal reasons. In the US, couples have more freedom. It’s important to consider both partners’ comfort levels and agree on reflecting caring and empathy in the vows. Modifications to traditional vows can be made to fit personal beliefs.
Deciding whether to write your own wedding vows or stick to the classic repetition of traditional vows is sometimes a difficult decision. Some people prefer the classics, and indeed in some countries, such as England, it may be necessary to take the traditional vows, as these represent the making of a contract and must include specific contract words. This doesn’t mean you can’t add other wedding vows or small speeches to the wedding ceremony, but you are not legally married unless the forms are duly followed.
In the United States, most states do not require a certain format for wedding vows. Both people who sign the marriage certificate complete the contract. This allows couples to be freer in what they promise to each other.
While it can be romantic if both members of a couple want to write down their vows, it may be that only one member of the couple is interested in deviating from the usual “have and hold” and so on. Sometimes grades can be a source of great discontent because a person feels very uncomfortable writing or speaking publicly about their personal feelings for the other person.
While it would be ideal if all couples could agree on whether or not to write wedding vows, this is not always the case. In the interest of starting a marriage off on the right foot, if one person really expresses discomfort writing their vows, it might be worth sticking to that person’s strong desire not to be embarrassed and give up creative writing for another time. . A compromise could be reached in which couples agree to take private and personal vows on a day other than the wedding. Of course agreeing to tell each other how much you are in love is always a good way to start a marriage.
In some cases, one member of the couple feels just slightly insecure about writing vows because they are not sure what to say. If a person really wants vows to be personal, you might want to take advantage of the many books that contain examples of wedding vows. This can give the boyfriend with writer’s block some pointers on writing directions and some ideas on what she might want to say.
Some couples think they should write wedding vows as it is now a popular choice. Just because it’s popular doesn’t mean it should be included in your wedding. Many still love family vows and secular vows that connect to past weddings and traditional weddings. You shouldn’t feel obligated to write down your grades because that’s what others have done.
You can change some of the traditional words in wedding vows if they don’t seem appropriate to your way of thinking. For example, in some vows, women still promise to obey their husbands. This may not fit your ideas of equal standing in a marriage and can easily be omitted, provided your church allows it. Another modification to the wedding ceremony that many couples like to make is the presentation of the married couple as “man and wife”. This can easily be changed to husband and wife to suggest equality.
What should be agreed upon when making wedding vow decisions is that both partners will reflect caring and empathy. Insisting that someone write vows when they really don’t want to may not be the best way to start a marriage. If you look at traditional vows, you’ll see some beautiful promise. Yes, they may not be the most original, but they are still serious statements about the hopes and vows you make when starting your life together.
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