How to be more patient?

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Gaining patience may require patience. Whether you suffer from a short temper when dealing with children, or simply can’t stand waiting in line, you can learn to be more patient. Being more patient takes practice and changing your mindset, because the more stressful a situation becomes, the more likely you are to become impatient. Only practice can help you become more patient during times of stress.

Being more patient generally requires learning new skills. One of the most proven methods is learning to count to ten, especially before answering a child. Indeed, when we talk about children, we usually use the word patience in the sense of not getting angry at children when they challenge us or when they delay in completing a task.

With children, counting to ten can save hot words from bubbling to the surface by briefly refocusing energy. Also, if you can’t control your mood at the moment, count to twenty or thirty.

Another way to deal with this is to leave the room for maybe a minute. Go outside and listen to the birds, or lie down on a bed in another room. Alternatively, take a moment to look at the cutest picture of your child or children, as it often helps us remember that we love our children even if they drive us crazy.

The goal is to allow the brain to achieve our flight or fight response to extreme emotions. Choosing a short flight, mentally or physically, helps us evaluate what we want to do instead of being impatient. Our decision about how to handle a situation with a troublesome child is therefore a reasoned decision rather than a hasty one. Words spoken in haste cannot be said. So it’s best to leave things unsaid until we regain control of ourselves.

In other circumstances, we may need to build patience as we wait in line, in traffic, or at the doctor’s office. Many of us have tight schedules, and the wait means our schedules may be out of line for the day. This can quickly lead to anger, which can end up being expressed towards other drivers or employees.

One can change one’s mentality regarding this “waiting time”, considering it a gift. If one expects to wait, bring something fun to do. Carrying sudoku games, crossword puzzles, knitting, portable music, or books on tape, can keep a patient busy during the waiting time. Waiting can disrupt planning, but it can have hidden benefits. The doctor who keeps one waiting might do it because he takes his time with each patient.

One can also become more patient by expressing empathy for others. Other drivers waiting on the road with one are just as stranded. One is not alone, but accompanied by many people in similar circumstances. A long line at the checkout means everyone is waiting. It’s important to extend empathy to the person working the checkout. She is probably overworked and has had to deal with a lot of angry people. Her feet probably hurt as much as yours.

Instead of counting to ten, one can occupy oneself, or use the waiting moments for short meditations, breathing exercises or prayer. Alternatively, strike up a conversation with another person, as it may prove rewarding.

The biggest key to being more patient is to take your mind off the waiting or nagging, even if only briefly. Cultivating a more patient personality can be rewarding. Let’s say a conversation develops into a friendship or a great business relationship, or it’s just a way to observe other people. Alternatively, being patient can help you become a better sudoku player, finally knit that scarf, take a few minutes to relax, or become a better parent.

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