Using chopsticks comes with rules and decorum. Don’t stab food, leave them lying around, stick them into a bowl of rice, shake them, use them to clink dishes or glasses, or mix and match different types. Respect chopsticks when dining with Asian hosts or at Asian restaurants.
Somewhere during the 1980s Americans were told “there is no wrong way to eat a Reese.” Admittedly, there may be a caveat: unless you’re eating with chopsticks. Chopsticks, like a fork and knife, come with their own set of rules and proper decorum. There’s a right way and a wrong way to eat with chopsticks. Use them correctly and you will be seen as gracious and respectful. Go the wrong way and you may not only offend your host, you may also press bad luck on your table!
Assuming you’re past the wand training stage, make sure you know what’s right and wrong when using chopsticks. Some of these require some understanding of Asian cultures, and others are just common sense.
Don’t stab your food. It might be second nature to pierce your food with a knife and fork, but with chopsticks it’s unacceptable. In many Asian countries, chefs pay special attention to the preparation of intricately decorated foods, such as sushi. Sprinkling food with a chopstick is considered disgraceful and disrespectful to the chef. Your chopstick is not a sword and your food should not be treated like a kebab.
Don’t leave chopsticks lying around. If you’re done eating or are between bites, your chopsticks should be placed neatly next to your bowl or plate. Never leave your chopsticks to rest in a bowl of food, and don’t allow them to sit idly in your hands, lest you use them to gesture during a conversation — another faux pas. In most cases, wand holders are provided. If your chopsticks come wrapped in paper, tie the paper into a knot to form your own chopstick holder.
Never stick chopsticks into a bowl of rice. This is a gesture shown at funerals, along with other symbolic rituals inviting the deceased to enjoy a gift of food. If you do this during a meal, you won’t be seen as hospitable, you will be seen as inviting misfortune to the table.
Chopsticks do not shake sticks. It is extremely poor form to use chopsticks to stir soup. Remember that special attention is paid to presentation, especially in Asian cuisine. Mixing the ingredients of a bowl of soup would be similar to spreading an intricately decorated glaze on a slice of cake. In the case of pho, a Vietnamese soup that invites you to add seasonings and herbs, it’s best to gently fold in the ingredients, adding a little at a time.
Wands are not music boxes. Do not use chopsticks to clink dishes or glasses. Using a fork or knife on a glass at a wedding reception is fascinating to many, but alarming to Asians. In most Asian cultures, chopsticks are kept clean and conspicuous so that dirt does not enter the mouth. Using a chopstick on a glass would be seen as soiling the chopstick and thus disrespecting its purpose.
Mismatched wands aren’t pretty. It has never been fashionable to mix and match different types of wands, so please don’t start now. When planning to eat with chopsticks, make sure you have a matching pair and always check that the chopsticks are free from cracks or breaks.
There are endless rules and varieties on the correct shape of chopsticks, and the above demonstrates the most widely accepted “right way” to eat with chopsticks. Of course, if you’re at home, with your own take-out box, you can eat any way you like. However, if you happen to find yourself staying with an Asian host or dining at an Asian restaurant, a little respect for chopsticks will go a long way.
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